I Can't Bear the Burden Alone.....

Dear All,

I know it is completely out of the ordinary for me to blog more than once in a year, but I just heard a story that I must share with you all. You know when you hear something that is so disturbing that you have to share it with other people so you can share the burden? Otherwise it just starts eating at you. This story is also about eating. WARNING!! IF YOU ARE EASILY DISGUSTED AND BECOME NAUSEATED/QUEASY don't stop reading - just get something to throw up in - you have to hear this. Martha heard this story at a Relief Society activity - from the person that saw it - I think I need to start attending Relief Society. Here goes:

A female student was observed just before taking a test in a class room. She was picking vigorously at something in her arm-pit. It turns out she had a cyst or a large zit of some sort which, I guess, needed to be taken care of before the exam, despite the fact that she was in a public place. (To me it seems that a zit under your arm would be the ideal place for a zit, because no one else would see it and you could deal with it privately -- without anyone discovering your zit -- unlike the ones you get between your eyebrows.) So, she's sitting there picking at her cyst/zit and suddenly strikes gold -- the yellow sticky kind. (I looked it up online, and the pus substance consists of dead bacteria and white blood cells.) At this point our observer is waiting in suspense to see how the perpetrator (of human decency) is going to dispose of her zit-matter -- now stuck between her fingers. Now, this is the worst part of the story. There are only a few possibilities that would seem generally acceptable for the perpetrator to deal with her zit. She could leave and find a restroom to wash her hands. She could wipe it on a piece of tissue. She could even have wiped it on something else, e.g. under the desk or on the carpet (this is less acceptable, but we can live with it). Alas, she chose none of the above. Instead, she stuck it in her mouth and ATE IT!
Now you probably understand why I needed to share this with other people even though it's late and I get up early. Thanks for reading. I feel better now. I apologize if you feel worse. Sleep well...if you can!

Comments

Carrie said…
Umm . . . thanks, I guess, Adam? Glad you didn't have to bear the burden of that mental picture alone!
Spencer said…
i'm so glad i started my weekend on your blog :)
gbrooks said…
Adam, dude, that's sick. But so hysterically funny!
apewinterton said…
Adam, please blog more than once a year!
Melissa Markham said…
Adam - last time you blogged, we were treated to a description of your excessively long nose hair. (which you brought to Breckenridge and tried to show me.) Maybe you should try blogging once every two years?
Anonymous said…
That is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard! I about lost my breakfast reading this post. It’s hard to fathom the fact that Adam wants to start attending Relief Society. Just plain awful.

The zit story was kinda gross, too. :)
Nicole said…
no. way.

wow.

really really wow.
Melissa Markham said…
It's a few months later and I'm still struggling with this story. Who is the girl and does she EVER expect to get married?

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